14,610

Most people who have seen me speak live in the past 10 years might remember that I often start my presentations with music for the right-brain people, and for the left-brain people I normally start by giving four numbers out. I let them know how old I am in days, how long I have been married to Rose in days, how long I have been recording 10 things a day I am grateful for in days, and the last number is the number 1. I then explain that the one precious day that we truly have impact on is this one day. My hope on the day that I get to speak live is that this day could be very significant in the life of someone in the audience. I suggest that when you have many something the value of one unit of it can be lost. One day, this day is important.

On June 4, 2022, Rose and I will be celebrating our 14,610th day of marriage. That might seem like an odd day to celebrate but it also happens to be our 40th Wedding Anniversary.

The World Conference in San Diego a few months ago was the 22nd World Conference where I have provided coaching. In the many years of writing articles on the concept of coaching and personal performance, I have often written about the importance of a strong Personal Foundation. Two of the ten parts of the Personal Foundation Program are Strengthening the Family and Strengthening Your Community.

This is an article where I will be writing about gratitude for support. I will be referring to my spouse, but in your case, it could be a family member, someone you are in a relationship with, a co-worker, a mentor, a pet, or someone in your community. There are many people who strengthen our foundation.

A few years ago, I was privileged to officiate a wedding in Florence, Italy. I recited a quote that when we marry someone, we think we are marrying one person, but in fact we are marrying three. We are marrying the person we think they are, the person they are, and the person they will become because of being married to us.

If I was a person who brought the worst out in Rose, or if she was a person that brought the worst out in me, that 14,610 days either wouldn’t have happened or would have seemed like a life sentence.

In 1980, I was the General Manager of a busy restaurant. I remember the day I met Rose in an interview.

This lovely and beautiful young blonde woman who had worked in extraordinary places had just moved to town and we thought she would be perfect for our team. One element of our company’s culture was that you do not fraternize with staff. I was told that meant that you don’t get too close, you don’t party with them, and you don’t date them.

After a few months of working together this young, beautiful woman told me that she was very attracted to me and would like to get to know me better. I explained that I don’t date staff. She quit and we started dating. (The labor market was different then; I am not sure how that would work out today?)

Less than two years later we were married. We were two young, flawed, naïve, inexperienced kids who were given the chance to grow up together. Other than love, neither of us was bringing much to the union but we really didn’t focus much on how little we had. We had found each other.

CMAA has given me a platform since 2003 to say whatever I want to say in the articles I write about life, careers, leadership, and coaching. They have never told me what to say or what not to say. Given that freedom, today I am going to talk about Rose.

Rose is a beautiful woman, inside and out. I have often called her the lovely Rose and when people meet her, they know why. She is kind, she is soft and feminine, she is strong and certain, she is a quiet seemingly shy introvert who can be the opposite with people that she knows, likes, and trusts. She is funny with a great sense of humor, and we laugh daily. She is the most loving and devoted mother. It is possible that she has spoken to others negatively about me, but if she has in the past 42 years, I am not aware of it. She has spent a lot of time telling others how great I am, but what really makes a difference is how often she tells me about the difference I make. I often wonder how different I would be as a coach and as a man if I was not married to Rose. I live a life of my design in large part because of her support and encouragement. She has supported me in being the man I have chosen to be.

We are going away to celebrate 40 Extraordinary Years!

The other night someone asked, “Where are you going to celebrate 40 years?” We said “Nelson.” The person’s reaction was a mixture of surprise and underwhelm. “Why Nelson?”

In the late eighties Rose and I saw a movie called “Roxanne”. It was filmed in a little town in the mountains on a lake called “Nelson”. Rose has always dreamed of going to Nelson. We have never been to Nelson. Forty years of making dreams come true will be celebrated in Nelson.

I guess the message I hope you get from this is that your success has been impacted by people who have supported your foundation. No matter who they have been or what they have done for you, please do not underestimate their impact. Please take the time to show your gratitude.

Thank you, Rose!