Mele Kalikimaka

When I was young the world was so big, and my world was very small. There was no internet, we had six tv stations, three of them were kind of fuzzy unless conditions were perfect, and the rabbit ears were pointed in precisely the right direction. If you wanted to call someone on the telephone that was on the wall, it had to be someone from the same small town or it would be long distance and although I don’t know what that would have cost, it was clear that it was more than my family could afford.

For a while my world view was the view from my small town. Then of course, I started to see more and experience more, and found out that places around the world were different than my little town. I learned that people from around the world were different than the people in my little town.

My mom loved Bing Crosby. One night we saw him on tv. It would have been on one of the sometimes-fuzzy stations. He sang a song called Mele Kalikimaka.

Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas day
That’s the island greeting that we send to you
From a land where palm trees sway
Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright
The sun to shine by day and the stars at night
Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii’s way to say
Merry Christmas to you.

Ok, this was mind blowing stuff to me. I didn’t know that it would be possible to celebrate this holiday without it being cold, snowy, and having a fireplace. I was soon going to find out that things are different all over the world. People celebrate things differently and people celebrate different things.

Now as boy, Bing Crosby represented two things to me. He made me dream of Hawaii and he made me curious about baking clams and a place called Pebble Beach. These seemed to be two places that I needed to visit in my lifetime. I am grateful that my adult life has taken me to both.

I have recently returned from the Big Island of Hawaii.

I was asked to go to the Hawaiian Cultural Center at the Four Seasons Hualalai to say hello to Auntie Kaulu. I made a point of doing that and I met a wonderful woman named Kaulumahiehie Amaral. Auntie Kaulu was a personification of love, joy, and peace. We learned a lot about Hawaiian history, their culture, and their beliefs. Later as my group reflected on what had happened while we were there, we agreed that we all felt something.

When I reflect on the trip, I don’t think about what I did or what I saw, as much as I think about what I felt.

In his book Making Welcome, Eddie Heintz references the words of Pila of Hawaii where he lists the 12 symptoms that can help identify those who are afflicted by the spirit of Aloha.

1. A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather from fears based on past experiences.
2. An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
3. Loss of interest in conflict
4. Loss of interest in judging others
5. A loss of conflict
6. A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
7. A loss of ability to worry
8. Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation
9. Content feelings of connection with others and nature
10. Frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes of the heart
11. Increased susceptibility to love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it
12. An increased tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen

I truly feel like I was afflicted by all these symptoms during our time in Hawaii.

Being on vacation helps, but the fact that I have been working on these things for past 22 years helps as well. When we look back at our connection with Auntie Kaulu, we realize that she seemed to be exemplifying all these characteristics, but the one that struck us the most was number 8, frequent attacks of smiling through the eyes of the heart. The way she looked at us made us feel like she had been waiting all her life to meet us. What a superpower!

Maybe we have been trained to be fearful. Maybe we have been trained to be focused on the past and anxious about the future. Maybe we have been trained to judge and look for conflict. Maybe we have been trained to disconnect and stay inside. Maybe we have been taught that we need to control things rather than allow things to happen. Maybe we have been trained to feel bad and buy things that will make us feel better.

Maybe we have been brilliant at taking this training seriously and have become really good at all these things.

What if this holiday season, if even for just a few days, we were afflicted by the symptoms of the Aloha Spirit?

What a gift that would be!

We are feeling very grateful that on our trip two people happened to us on our trip. They were Eddie Heintz and Aaron Grant. I won’t tell you what they did but I can tell you how they made two couples who were celebrating 40 years of marriage feel. Their caring, their actions and their hospitality made us feel seen and loved. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I am no longer a little boy in a small town. I have discovered that there is a big world out there. I have also discovered that there is a big world inside me. It is up to me to choose how I see that world. You have the same choice.

Wishing much joy over the holidays and an Extraordinary year to come!

Aloha Spirit!
Mahalo!